Today as I left work, I told a friend that I wish I could be a cat as a job.
Let’s think about this…
I think I would very useful as a cat. If I got paid to be your companion, I would make the best god damn companion you will ever have! Demonstrated below are some valid points that will make you think about me as a lifetime pet:
I would play with you. I would cuddle you. I would lick your hand and you would enjoy it. I would scratch the frak out of people’s faces that you hate. I would be loveable. I would be your entertainment with a laser pointer. I would be totally cute. I would keep you warm. I would be a never ending meme. I would always let you stroke my fur. I would be your best friend. I would always have staring competitions with you. I would let you dress me up in lame costumes. I would pose in every photo for you. I would pee on your clothes.
Ok, just realized that I would probably do all these things by staying human – except the peeing on your clothes… maybe.
So who wants me as their friend / cat? Any takers? I can charge a cheap fee of $100,000 per year – I’d be happy with that.